I Wish I Had Never Met You.

I Wish I had Never Met You. I guess that line has been hurled at as many people as have been told the lie, “I love you.”

You know that ridiculously sweet song that Garth Brooks wrote – “The Dance” where he basically says that he could have missed the pain, but then he’d have had to miss the dance.

Total bullshit.

Among other things … work and some other annoying life things ….. someone I care very much about hit me with the biggest Mack Truck they could find and then forgot to turn around and apologize. I suspect that if given a chance this person would throw it into reverse and run me over again. Just because it is possible to do so. I suspect I’ve become an easy target.

Why do people treat each other the way they do? I used to be this ball of fire that fought any fight that came my way. I decided years ago that that wasn’t working for me and decided that I needed to make some changes. I decided that more flies with honey… or some such other crap… and I have tried to lead my life trying to be as good as possible to the people around me (sadly, i’m not always successful, lets just say I’m a work in progress). I would never want to do or say something horrible to someone I care about and then have that be the last thing that is said or done to them by me. I just wish that certain people in my life felt the same way.

Maybe its time to cut the worst offender loose? Does unconditional love only go so far?

Today I am feeling like maybe I have taken the idea of ‘forgiveness’ and ‘unconditional love’ a little too far and have not looked after myself properly. *Thanks for that lesson.* I kept thinking if you work hard, be there for the people you love, try not to judge too much, love fiercely, protect the ones you love as much as you can and forgive the people around you for their mistakes (they are only human, as you are – and you want to be forgiven for your mistakes) that not only will you be able to wake up every morning and like what you see in the mirror but that people will treat you with the same kind of respect. Um, not so much.

Today I am feeling walked on. And disappointed. And not quite sure what to do with that. *Again, thanks for that lesson.*

PS. Thank you to Mom and Mandy for taking my miserable butt out on Sunday. I needed it. Thank goodness for family that are willing to put up with a grumpy girl.

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4 Comments

  1. Anonymous said,

    October 23, 2006 at 1:03 pm

    I often feel this way, but I still think that choosing to live this way is much healthier and happier.

  2. KellyNerd said,

    October 23, 2006 at 1:08 pm

    Hi Jessica. Thx for your comment. I hope I feel that way again.

  3. Autumn Storm said,

    October 21, 2007 at 9:13 am

    I think sometimes there are people that we should just love from afar.

  4. yearofmeandher said,

    January 10, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    I wanna give you a big hug right now.


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