on infatuation …

I have been thinking a lot about infatuation and love.

Wikipedia says:

Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoning passion or love; addictive love. Infatuation usually occurs at the beginning of relationship when sexual attraction is central. It is characterized by urgency, intensity, sexual desire, and anxiety, in which there is an extreme absorption in another.

Love is a constellation of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness.[1] The meaning of love varies relative to context. Romantic love is seen as an ineffable feeling of intense attraction shared in passionate or intimate attraction and intimate interpersonal and sexual relationships.[2] Love can also be construed as Platonic love,[3] religious love,[4] familial love, and, more casually, great affection for anything considered strongly pleasurable, desirable, or preferred, to include activities and foods.[5][2] This diverse range of meanings in the singular word love is often contrasted with the plurality of Greek words for love, reflecting the concept’s depth, versatility, and complexity.

How many people have really been in love?

Real love. Selfless love. Unconditional love.

I have that kind of love for my daughter. She is the love of my life. My heart. It is easy to love her that way. The minute she was conceived I felt it. I know without a doubt that anything she may say or do – I can love her through it. It is not possible for my heart to feel any other way about her. It is what it is.

Is it possible to have it for another human being that you did not give birth to?

I think so, but it is rare.

I have a beautiful friend. I love him unconditionally. We have known each other since we were 14. We have been partners, lovers, friends. We moved across the country and back and are now best friends. We have experienced fantastic adventures, love, friendship, understanding, incredible happiness and contentment, fights, impatience, anger, hurt, misunderstandings, betrayal and loss. We have come out the other side firmly in each other’s lives.

I love him. Truly love him.

Infatuation it is not.

I am aware of who he really is. Underneath the charming exterior and the pretty face there is a real person with faults and problems and a big heart. He shares his family with me. He shares his free spirit with me. I love that he tells me secrets. I love that he shares the real person inside. I love that he is not afraid to show me who he really is. I love that he trusts me to love him.

He knows me inside and out. He remembers me as a young girl, knows the experiences that led me to the woman I am, and knows the faults that make me human. He loves me in spite of who I am and in spite of who I cannot be.

We continue to battle it out as friends and I know we always will.

Thanks Cheek.

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2 Comments

  1. MARFSBABY said,

    June 5, 2007 at 7:56 pm

    That was really nice Kel, it’s very obvious how much you love Cheek,and not just with pretty words, but truly.

  2. LeiselB said,

    June 6, 2007 at 1:40 pm

    Woooowww….that’s an impressive relationship. Beautifully conveyed.


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