I need some advice blogging friends.

I’ve ruined my blog.

It doesn’t look like I have, but I have.

I find myself censoring, deleting, editing and rewriting my posts when I do not want to be. I almost wish some days my blog was anonymous so that I could write openly about my feelings. That was to be the whole point of this thing to start with! I have toyed around with the idea of starting another one to just write

The problem is that I write what I feel in any given moment. I may not feel that very same thing five minutes later but the post remains there until I write about something else…. and because I am not using this as a true journal you do not get updates, I just write about the next random thing that pops into my head.

For example:

Recovering Straight Girl writes (or seems to) candidly about her relationship with her girlfriend, her thoughts on her ex, and the trials and tribulations of being a mother, ex-wife and a woman in a same-sex relationship/marriage. From reading her blog I can see that her friends, family and her girlfriend read it daily. Why does she feel so comfortable expressing her feelings?

Better question – why am I such a wimp about it?

Anyways, fellow blogging friends, tell me … are you censoring yourself? I honestly want to know your thoughts and feelings on this whole thing.

Love you all.

I’m off now to Ucluelet. Well … I will be when sexy.girl drags her cute butt out of bed!




  1. Trée said,

    July 29, 2007 at 7:47 am

    Kelly, I do keep my main blog no more than R rated for the very reasons you state, which means I censor what I might ordinarily want to write.

    However, I do have another blog that I don’t publicize that is often X rated, not always, but often and there, I say and do whatever I want. Not the solution I would prefer, but too many people I know look at my main blog and would not approve of my explicit sexual confessions, if you know what I mean.

  2. KellyNerd said,

    July 29, 2007 at 8:55 am

    ha, email me the link! I’m dying to read it!!

  3. Trée said,

    July 29, 2007 at 9:04 am

    Check your email. 🙂

    I hope you will still respect me in the morning. 😀

  4. Sweet Cheeks said,

    July 29, 2007 at 9:43 am

    I started my blog for those very reasons then one day my girl saw me bloggin and I showed her the link. I guess I am more censored as I have shared it with others…So yeah I guess whats the point now 🙂

  5. oneofhismoms said,

    July 30, 2007 at 7:47 am

    Welp, I started my TTC blog because my first one was shared with other women and didn’t seem like an appropriate place to whine about trying to get pregnant. I am anonymous, but I still edit myself a bit because I do know who reads my blog. I would never bitch about my partner, for example, because she’d stop talking to me for a while, I think. That would suck. You can always start another blog… but I find it impossible to keep a blog a secret.

  6. Tbone said,

    July 30, 2007 at 7:51 am

    In a way I wish I was anonymous as I do not write about ALL my complete experiences…some are very racey and could make things in my life very complicated…so I choose to keep them to myself…you can always keep a journal at home just for you.

  7. a life uncommon said,

    July 31, 2007 at 1:48 pm

    I really enjoyed this post. It was so honest and uncensored.

    At first I didn’t censor myself because no one read my blog. Now that there are readers (which I love having) my blog has changed. I sometimes wish mine had been an anonymous blog too.

    I’d love to candidly share the secrets I keep at bay. But since my blog is not anonymous, I’m watching myself a little.

  8. thestraightpoop said,

    July 31, 2007 at 4:14 pm

    Yes indeed, I most definitely censor. I’d love to rant about certain things and certain people but just can’t…I do wish I had kept it private too, but I echo the comment that a blog is a difficult thing to keep private.

    Hope you have fun in Ucluelet!

  9. Sweet Cheeks said,

    August 1, 2007 at 7:24 am

    I can SOOOOO relate to this post today!

  10. Lindsey said,

    August 1, 2007 at 3:03 pm

    Oh how do I feel your pain!! I’m dealing with the same things right now and it’s driving me crazy. There are so many things that I want to tell you all, and I can’t…because I know the people that I want to write about are reading. :o(

  11. Trée said,

    August 3, 2007 at 2:42 pm

    Hey Nerdy Girl. Missing you. Free foot massage with my Brazilian oils when you return. Just a little welcome home gift. 🙂

  12. Leiselb said,

    August 4, 2007 at 4:14 pm

    I totally censor and there are days when I really, really wish I didn’t.

  13. KellyNerd said,

    August 5, 2007 at 12:35 am

    testing to see if the photo shows up

  14. Recovering Straight Girl said,

    August 6, 2007 at 12:30 am

    So amazing that you would write this and that I would read it today.

    Girlfriend, if you only knew how much I do censor myself and somewhat shamefully. I write about a lot, but I also don’t write about a lot and sometimes I really wish that I could write everything, but I too, feel fear about that.

    I don’t think that we should censor ourselves and that we should express ourselves freely. If we aren’t making blatant derogatory remarks about someone specific, then we should be able to say what we wish in our own space. And this, little spot on the internet, is OUR OWN SPACE.

    Rock on, girl. Live it, be it. Go for it.

  15. wenders said,

    August 6, 2007 at 9:53 am

    Interesting… I read an article in Wired, I think it was, about how blogs are sort of the equivelent of an event. Aka, some blogs are lectures, and you’re not invited to contribute. Some are refined cocktail parties, where something a little racy might stand out, but wouldn’t be an issue like it would be at a lecture. And then some are keg parties, where anything goes. So you get to decide what kind of party you’re hosting.

    To that end, though, I think that in having blogs, we ARE ‘hosting’ a party of sorts, and that just like I wouldn’t look you up and down as you walked in a room and make a snarky comment about your dress/shoes/whatever, I shouldn’t behave that way online, either. Especially since tone, body langauge and facial expressions are all lost, and are such important parts of communication.

    I also think (aren’t you glad you asked) that some things aren’t meant to be shared with everyone – if you have something to say that you wouldn’t say to the person that it’s about, why say it? That said, if what one thinks and what one says are aligned and usually one and the same, who cares, post it for the entire world! 🙂

    Interesting post – I think you’ve really nailed one of the big issues about blogging that we all deal with at one point or another.

  16. LeLo in NoPo said,

    August 6, 2007 at 10:44 am

    Found you via RSG…

    Oh, this is such a topic I grapple with too. I think of it as my “lelo in nopo” voice, and often it’s shiny and happy and puppies and pretty things. And I look at it and think, there’s so much I’m not saying. So often instead I say it in comments on other people’s blogs! It’s a difficult subject, what to say or not say, and I respect that it’s different for different people. It may not be your thing to let it all hang out, but maybe bits and pieces will help you feel more free. Whatever you decide, good luck to you!

  17. Zoe said,

    August 6, 2007 at 11:10 am

    I was just thinking about this very topic. I do somewhat sensor myself though I am far more open as zoe than I am in person. I have been toying with the idea of starting another blog that is completely annonymous, but I fear that I would eventually be discovered so I don’t.

  18. Misty said,

    August 6, 2007 at 3:55 pm

    I censor A LOT of what I write..and leave out a lot of my thoughts. Mostly for me it is because of fear. Fear of someone who knows me reading it etc. I am not sure when I’ll ever fully feel open enough to not care..

  19. Knitting Painter Woman said,

    August 6, 2007 at 10:23 pm

    I know that both my children and several friends and DH read my blog. One thing it provides is a place to say things that they might not want to hear more directly!! I also have a self-promotional blog (which I haven’t updated in ages) that is definitely censored. (NO whining if you are in a helping profession!) But I strive to be more and more candid and congruent; more and more creative and expressive. And I love the interactions.
    I’m glad RSG pointed me here.

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