time off from life …

The sun just came out. It has been rainy and very September-like for the last few days.

The sun shining adds to my guilt for just lying here watching Ellen and reading blogs all.day.long.

I am in my ugly (but comfy) green jammies with pink elephants and hearts on them, eating crackers with melted cheese and jam (blame my mom for that particular food habit!) and thinking I probably should have a shower at some point today … It is tempting to post a pic of the particular kind of mess I look like but sorry readers, you are stuck with my usual superhero blog pic.

If it helps the visual any … the front of my hair is pulled back like a Shih Tzu pup and when Chico sees me like this he always asks me to make the face – you know the one – bottom teeth out like the little fugly doggie. =)

Well, actually kind of like this:

***new note… I was trying to be funny by posting the pic of this dog… not my dog… apparently I’m not funny … =) I was trying to show you all the state of my hair right now …***

With green jammies and cracker crumbs on my shirt.

Anyways, I had a gruelling session with my counsellor yesterday. I broke down and cried like a little girl. Apparently for someone who does not feel like talking, I have an awful lot to say. Everything she said made sense, everything all the people that love me makes sense – but for the time being the logical side of my brain that sends my heart normal loving messages is broken and while that is happening, I just want to be home and alone. So today is a “me” day. There has been a lot of those lately and there are going to be a few more in the next few weeks. Whatever it takes.

I have realized lately and think I can understand and relate to how a once social person could suddenly become a hermit – If someone gave me a sailboat right now (and I knew how to sail!) – I.would.be.outta.here.all.by.myself. Just.me.and.some.books.

In my internet travels today I came across a blog called Wannabe.

Her blog caught my eye today because of a quote:

Dont borrow someone else’s spectacles to view yourself.

Simon Travaglia

The quote struck me because the process of seeing myself through loving eyes again has been a hard fight.

I know it will happen.

It will just take some time.

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10 Comments

  1. Trée said,

    August 21, 2007 at 9:44 pm

    Hey Nerdy, one thing I’ve got is time. Wanna trade? 😀

  2. KellyNerd said,

    August 21, 2007 at 9:48 pm

    hey you!

    i wait for your comments… they are always so positive!

    I love the blog you told me to look at recently… very cool!

  3. Laura said,

    August 22, 2007 at 4:12 am

    Hi Kelly, thanks for stopping by my site….

    Sometimes a good cry lets out all the “bottled up” stuff inside….its a good start anyway…..I hope you are feeling better…..

    your dog is TOO cute! He is probably just waiting for all those cracker crumbs to fall to the floor!!!

  4. L said,

    August 22, 2007 at 10:06 am

    Kelly,
    I wish I could work from home sometimes. Thanks for always making comments on my blog. You are the only one who I always count on to comment. I would love to hear from more people.
    Your dod IS cute. and when I’m home, i am in my jammies and crumby shirt too! have a better day.
    L

  5. L said,

    August 22, 2007 at 10:08 am

    oops!. your dog is cute, not your dod. I’m glad i didn’t accidentally put an “a” that would have been weird.
    L

  6. Sweet Cheeks said,

    August 22, 2007 at 10:34 am

    Loved the pic of the pooch! I love then new layout/colors on the blog 🙂 Smiles…:)

  7. jlb said,

    August 22, 2007 at 10:36 am

    hey, the cracker, melted cheese, jam combo works best with triskets…i thought i was the only one loved that particular mix of foods. 🙂

    keep taking care of yourself.

    j.

  8. Unknown Me said,

    August 22, 2007 at 2:39 pm

    Sometimes it’s when we have the most to say that the words get the ost stuck. They just can’t organize themselves to come out in any way, shape, or form. At least that’s how it is for me.

  9. Trée said,

    August 22, 2007 at 3:30 pm

    Kelly, I kinda like that site too. Very decadent and very peaceful. A place to get away and dream. Glad you like it too. 🙂

  10. Rigo said,

    August 22, 2007 at 10:49 pm

    Thanks for visiting. I enjoy reading your blog. I thought I was the only one that put really personal stuff out there, nice to see I’m in good company.


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