I had a setback last week.  I had another breakdown reminiscent of the beginning of this whole ordeal.

It scared me.  It frustrated me. 

I had been slowly moving forward and had been working so hard and then it just.hit.me.

I did what I was supposed to.  I immediately went to my doctor and made an appointment with my counsellor.  They both think that it is possible I am on the wrong medication.  Sigh.

I am moving forward again though.  I had a nice family birthday, I am lucky I have the support that I have.

I met with my counsellor.  We made progress.  Through some of the symptoms I have been experiencing she managed to label, name and give me ideas outside of the medication to help me plan my future while dealing with things outside my control.  I am working so hard.  I think this may be a whole new start for me.  I may have been living and suffering with things for many years that I thought were normal.  Things I do not have to suffer through.  It is going to take work but with the support I have and my sheer determination to get back to ‘me’  I am up for it.

To help with the moving forward I started something today:  purge, verb, purged, purg·ing, noun

–verb (used with object)

1. to rid of whatever is impure or undesirable; cleanse; purify.
2. to rid, clear, or free

I am purging – in the good way.

I am getting rid of the clutter.  The extras.  The things in my life I do not need.  I am organizing, cleaning, ironing.

I am up off the couch (still in my jammies).  I am getting organized.  As I get my head back on track and start to move ahead I want to make sure that everything around me is cleaned up, organized and uncluttered.

I have never been a minimalist.  I like candles, knickknacks, pictures, throw pillows, area rugs, THINGS around me.  As I looked around my loft today I see things that a lot of these things are just in the way.  There are four things in my home that really bring me pleasure: my t.v., my laptop, the scented candles and, of course, my books – my beloved bookshelf.  I want my own library someday.


This is good timing.  My landlord is getting rid of my leaky fridge today (finally – the leaks have created a silverfish problem – any ideas on that readers??) and asked me to get my pictures off the walls because he is going to put a new coat of ‘popcorn yellow’ paint on my walls early next week!  This will brighten up and put the finishing touch on the ‘cleansing’ of my home.

Here is a picture of the wall to the loft next door to mine with the popcorn yellow paint.  I have the same trim and molding on my walls.  What do you think?




  1. B said,

    October 13, 2007 at 3:20 am

    I think..that you’re on the right track, and I like the popcorn yellow. Here’s to staying off the couch!

  2. Trée said,

    October 13, 2007 at 3:29 am

    Nerdy, you won’t believe this, but just this morning I thought of a chapter in my story where Trev decides he has to get rid of all the clutter in his room because he can’t breathe, that the issues he is dealing with create enough clutter in his mind. Now, I haven’t written this chapter yet, but I just wanted to let you know, the idea was there before I came here.

    I’ll be bringing that rug by soon. Make some tea, no sugar. I like it hot and iced. 🙂

  3. NerdGirl said,

    October 13, 2007 at 3:33 am

    looking forward to my new rug and reading that chapter. is this the story on your other blog or a book? i want to read it… =)

    thanks for stopping in so regularly…

  4. Trée said,

    October 13, 2007 at 4:23 am

    Nerdy, this chapter will be on my main blog Decadent Tranquility. The story currently has 359 postings and over 370 original pieces of art. You are welcome to stop by anytime. 🙂

  5. bighair said,

    October 13, 2007 at 4:35 am

    Good luck with the purge,
    I need to do that 2
    I love candles and all that stuff.
    take care of u.

  6. bighair said,

    October 13, 2007 at 4:36 am

    oh and silverfish
    if u get a dehumidifier
    but they are noisey
    it seems to get rid of them.

  7. sizzle said,

    October 13, 2007 at 7:07 am

    i’m inexplicably drawn to yellow houses. must be soothing.

  8. Trée said,

    October 13, 2007 at 10:30 pm

    Have a great weekend Nerdy. The chapter in question was posted yesterday at Decadent Tranquility. Interesting comments so far. 🙂

  9. speedstudio said,

    October 13, 2007 at 11:02 pm

    I love that paint.

    I like silverfish (not as much as “daddylonglegs”) – they’ve been around for about 3 million years and eat things like shampoo residue. I’ve never been bitten by one. They don’t seem to mind being washed down the drain.

  10. jlb said,

    October 14, 2007 at 12:20 am

    beautiful, soft, warm, sunshine yellow…looks wonderful…
    reminds me of a little book called the persistence of yellow, which a friend introduced to me last year.
    purging is good. it make me think of what really has meaning to me in life. the rest is just visual noise…
    i want to stay in my jammies today (but i do have to get groceries, and that might raise a few eyebrows…) 🙂
    ‘hoping u’r feeling better

  11. moderngeartv said,

    October 15, 2007 at 12:02 am

    Oh yes, the yellow is a happy, bright, sunshiney colour. My childhood bedroom was yellow and it energized me every single morning. I think it’s lovely.

    I did read some things about silverfish quickly, you might check out:

    Hopefully there’s a natural way that doesn’t involve chemicals. Kind of freaky that it says they can live a year without food…maybe that’s why speedstudio cites that they have been around for three million years!

    My best to you on this bright and sunny Sunday.


  12. Valley Girl said,

    October 15, 2007 at 12:28 am

    Every road to recovery has setbacks. Don’t let this one discourage you. You did the right thing by setting up an appointment with your counselor; you fell and got right back up. I’m proud of you.

  13. Ryann said,

    October 15, 2007 at 5:57 am

    change is good. cleansing is awesome. sounds like you’re on the right track.

  14. Caroline said,

    October 15, 2007 at 6:17 am

    Setbacks are just part of moving forward. Sounds like you did everything right in calling your Dr. and counselor.

    Love the yellow.

  15. kittenroar5 said,

    October 15, 2007 at 10:48 am

    I hope you’ve had a cheery, pop-corn yellow, off the couch weekend!

    I feel as if I’d like to do some of the same. Hugs.

  16. NerdGirl said,

    October 16, 2007 at 7:18 am

    B: I am spending more and more time off this damn couch… happen to be on it at the moment in my jammies … but … nevertheless… =)

    Tree: Indeed the story was amazing. Readers, check out his blogs… they are on my blogroll. AMAZING! Tree is one of the most creative people I have ‘met’!

    BigHair: Thanks for the advice on the silverfish!

    Sizzle: Thank you for commenting even though I know you are so busy right now! You are right the yellow is soothing …

    SpeedStudio: Thanks for the silverfish advice and for stopping by… how’d you find me?

    jlb: Going to look up that book. Thanks!

    Tam: A year without food! Yikes. Now I want to burn the house down! I appreciate the websites, full of wonderful advice, thanks for stopping by!

    ValleyGirl: Thank you for your always positive thoughts. You girl are a gem!

    Ryann: Hey girl. Thanks for stopping by. I have been reading your blog lately. Lots of great projects. Are you ever at the “C”?

    Caroline: Thanks for your encouragement!

    Kittenroar: I hope you did the same and got some serenity from it as I did. Thanks for stopping by!

  17. speedstudio said,

    October 16, 2007 at 10:30 am

    Hi NerdGirl: If you select “recovery” category on your blog you’ll see we share that category on 10/13. I saw your friendly photo and thought I’d visit.

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