a silverfish named Eli, some bleach and Chico in trouble AGAIN

silverfish.jpg

I am a bit of a germphobe, neat freak, whatever.  I like everything clean, lined up, polished and in order.

I live in the attic loft of an old heritage house.  There are seven suites here.  One of the tenants, who is moving in January, doesn’t want us to use anything harmful to the environment to get rid of these lovely SilverSharks!  Sigh.

By January, I will have gone so mad that I will have burned down the damned house.

Anyways,

Chico.

Silly Chico has been working fifteen hour days.  His office is ten blocks from my home so he has been staying here instead of making the hour and half commute to his own home every day.

I absolutely Love, love, love having my best friend around.  But he has some unusual habits.

I went to the bathroom after he left the other day.  What do I find?

Big white splotches on my beautiful taupe bath mat!

Hm.  Smells like bleach.

WTF?

Me:  “Hey Cheek.  What were you doing with bleach?”

Chico:  “Killing silverfish.”

Me:  “You do know bleach wrecks fabric?”

Chico:  “They cannot live in bleach.  And anyways, he was saying bad things about you.”

Me:  “NOTHING can live in bleach.  That is the idea of bleach.  And the reason I like it so.”

Me:  “Wait a minute, whoa, who was saying bad things about me?”

Chico: “Eli.”

Me: “Eli?”

Chico:  “Eli the silverfish.  He had to die.”

Me:  Shaking head and picturing Chico on the toilet with his pants around his ankles throwing capfuls of bleach at a silverfish named Eli …”I appreciate the protection of my character, but could we leave the bleach alone?  I had to throw out my bathmat.”

Chico:  “Fine.”

Me:  “Seriously.  No.MORE.BLEACH.  The towel I put down on the floor to temporarily replace my pretty bathmat now has bleach stains too.  STOP.IT.”

Two days later.  He left for work.  I start to get up.  What is that smell?  Fuck.  Bleach.  Again.

Me:  “Chico.  You did it again.”

Chico:  “You smelled it huh?”

Me:  “I always leave things on the shelf with the labels pointing out.  The bleach was moved and yes, I could smell the bleach.”

Chico:  “Labels eh?  Thats kind of weird.”

Me:  “You are killing silverfish named Eli with bleach – that TALK to you!  And I’m weird???”

Chico:  “Maybe you should take the bleach out of the bathroom.  I cannot seem to stop.  I even wrecked my shirt and my black socks.”

Me:  “Maybe you should stop before I kill you with bleach.”

He thinks I’m kidding.

Just another day in the life of me and Chico.

Dont you all feel normal now?

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quote

It is good to love: because love is difficult.

For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation.

Rainer Maria Rilke: Letters to a Young Poet

tis’ the season to make a list!

list1.jpg 

I am in list heaven!

My family loves Christmas.  Tis’ the season to shop till we drop.

Tis’ the season to give, give and give some more!

Tis’ the season to come together as a family and celebrate the season.

And so the list fun (madness) starts:

Mom starts early by sending an email to all family members requesting a list.  She wants to know what we want in our stockings.  She wants to have a list of ‘reasonable items’.  Sizes, colours, options.  Everything from big to small.  She wants a list of ‘big ticket items’.  We get to open the big ticket item at the end of the present opening mania.  She plots this item, plans carefully, gives false hints about the item.  On Christmas morning she quivers on the couch in her Christmas jammies in anticipation of the squeals of delight each of us invariably lets out when we rip open the bright paper and finally see the object of our desire.  Her and Keith (my stepfather) get big hugs and thank you’s and ‘I cannot believe you got me this’ statements … This is mom’s favourite moment of the day!  You can tell she thoroughly enjoys shopping for all of us.  We open all our gifts one at a time and enjoy each other’s smiles.  We are definitely spoiled rotten by the two of them, and each other.

R.O.T.T.E.N.

Anyways, back to the list mania:

Each member of the family in turn sends mom our list.  Then each member emails each other separately with the lists.  Then we email each other again to tell each other what we have already bought off of the others’ lists.  Then we email each other to talk of budgets and keeping things under control this year…

We then email each other to let each other in on what we plan on buying for the others.

Then I take all the lists, combine them, cross reference them and come up with a new list to go shopping with.  My sister puts hers in a spreadsheet because she is a bean counter and that is how she rolls.  Accountants, sheesh!

After the shopping we email each other again and say what we already bought so nothing gets duplicated or left off any of the lists.  Phew!  There are onslaughts of cellphone calls from loud malls saying ‘guess what I just found’, ‘do you think he will like this’, ‘I cant find her anything’, and screams of ‘help!’….

My mom will be making piles with her presents because it all has to be even.  There will be a room in her and Keith’s house that will be off-limits because I was a horrible snoop as a teenager.  The piles will cause mom ‘present stress’ because invariably someone’s pile will be bigger than someone else’s and she will go back to the mall to have a ‘little looksey’ to maybe even it up a bit.  She will probably spend more money.  She will bring her goodies home, add them to the piles and re-evaluate.  Oh oh, she will then have spent more on someone and may have to go to the mall again … it is a vicious circle!  Poor mom.  We are all so spoiled!

All in all, this is fun.  It is done with love, for love and the day is fabulous.

My stepfather Keith always starts the cleanup on the big day.  There is usually paper covering my mom’s entire living room.  Each year we all spend time going through the bags of paper looking for something that got thrown out.

And of course there will be ‘Fred’ the turkey, and Keith’s bashneeps!  Yum.

Lots of love in our family.  We are a lucky bunch!

Tradition.

Gotta.LOVE.IT!

wish list no. 5

Chico managed to find my dream house (and it isn’t even on the ocean!) at Bobby S.’s blog – Kitsune Noir.  It combines an isolated home and more books than I could read in a lifetime. 

*sigh*

wish list no. 4

A little of everything for my precious feet:

Boots foor work with a sensible heel.  I already have a sexy pair at home:

boots-for-work.jpg

The tackiest gumboots ever!  I want them though:

gumboots.jpg

Sexy shoes:

high-heels.jpg

Fun casual boots:

casual-boots.jpg

An awesome pair of flats:

cute.jpg

Some very innocent looking Betsey Johnson Mary Janes:

betsey-johnson-mary-janes.jpg

And the only shoes that really matter.  Throw the rest away!  The Nike id’s I created online.  I.WANT.THEM!:

 nike-id.jpg

Making wishlists is FUN!

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