bad kitty

Plugged in my laptop last night to charge the computer.  The little signal didn’t go on.  After closer inspection there were tiny little teeth marks on the cord where it was all ripped apart…

kitty!

99 bucks later … argh!

good thing she is cute!

on migraines

How do I know I have a migraine you ask?

See that nice sharp hard corner on your filing cabinet?

It is taking all my strength not to fling my head back and smash my head as hard as I can into it.

Did you notice my many bathroom breaks today?

No, I dont have a bladder infection, I have been throwing up.  Yes, barfing.  At work, anywhere actually that a migraine decides to kick my ass.  For five seconds as I am leaving that stall I feel better.  By the time I wash my hands and walk back to my desk or whatever else I was doing (recently it was a date) I need to turn back around and throw up again.

Remember morning sickness?  That was a picnic compared to this nausea.

Aspirin you say?  Advil?  Extra Strength whatsit?  No, noooo I cannot take another aspirinadvilextrastrenthwhatsit.  Why?  Well, the last forty I took so I could get out of bed have eaten right through the lining of my stomach and I don’t think that is helping my situation any.  What, really?  They work for your little headaches?  Aw, isn’t that nice.  I think I mentioned I get migraines.  Different ball game.  Actually different sport altogether.  Like comparing the ballet to the UFC.  Yep.  Pain meds?  Wish list:  to receive morphine intravenously.  Really.  Yes, It is that bad.

You know how you mentioned that girl that sits beside you at work – you know the one that her perfume ‘irritates’ you?  Yeah her.  Ok, you know the other girl – the one that sits way down the hall and around the corner?  My migraine gives me super powers – I can smell her perfume, the one she put on YESTERDAY and has since showered off.  Yes, yes, that is a neat superpower.  That also means I can smell the smoker two blocks away and the fact that the guy in the elevator stood beside someone else on the bus who wasn’t wearing deodorant.  And all those smells – they hurt my head more and make me take at least four extra trips to talk to the big white phone in the bathroom on a migraine day.

And lighting.  Lighting.  Fun stuff.  You know those neat little lights above your desk?  For me, they aren’t a little bright.  They actually make me anxious.  Anxious because I know if I get even the slightest bit of a headache that those babies will start to feel like someone is boring holes through my retina with a laser device.  Oh yeah, so does my computer monitor.  Fun stuff these migraines.

And no Im not being a snotty bitch, that whimsical giddy fun voice of the average woman saying hello, the one that made me cringe?  Yes, she is beautiful and animated and awesome but for me – during a migraine – that little voice sounds like a drill.  And the drill is buzzing directly into my ear.  Slowly and surely.  But the drill doesn’t see to drill right into the part of my head I need it to to relieve the pressure – so its just another form of torture.

Oh yes, and if I am lucky enough to have one of them fifty dollar ‘miracle’ pills handy that ‘cures’ my migraine … within a half hour, my pain is a beautiful dull roar … but I am sure about five thousand brain cells went with the pain and I cannot understand the simplest task you are asking me to do.  So yes, thank you, I do feel better, I just cant do simple math or hold my own fork until tomorrow.  No I am not staring at your tongue… oh wait yes, I am, I am trying to focus.  Sigh.

Ok, done.  End of migraine rant.

NerdGirl Disclaimer:

This is directed at no one.  I took a ‘writing liberty’ for ‘effect’ to write the post this way.  Apparently a migrine hangover makes me a comic too.

Anyways, blogging friends feel free to chime in.  I am sure I am not the only one enjoying these lovely long ‘episodes’!  Do you have cures?  Stories?  Rants?  Anything?  Something!  Join me in my pain!

down day

 eye.jpg

Today was littered with disappointment.

I know that some days we will feel let down and unhappy.

I know that everyday cannot be perfect.

But do the disappointments need to come at you all in one day?

Perhaps something pleasing will come my way tomorrow …

Love Day continued…

Didn’t my first post about Love Day sound beautiful?

Kind of went downhill from there.

When I wrote that post I hadn’t been able to sleep because of a really bad cough I developed over the last couple of days.  I wrote that post early and decided to head into work early.  I figured if I couldn’t sleep I may as well get my lawyers ready for their respective trips next week.

I’m a silly rabbit.  Things didn’t exactly go that way.

There has been a bad virus going around our office and I was kidding myself thinking my asthma was bothering me and I had a ‘little’ cough.  By the time everyone else started rolling into the office I couldnt stop coughing.  And breathing was difficult.  I was taking really shallow breaths, my inhaler was not working on my breathing issues and my hands were numb.  I sat down and said to “S” my  boss, “um I think something’s wrong, can you call Chico”. 

It was hospital time.

Now do not go thinking this went from zero to sixty in an hour.  I knew, deep down, I wasn’t well.  I just figured it would get better.  Big strong NerdGirl.  Got a cough, lungs hurt, can’t sleep, why of course – go to work – EARLY!  =)

I could barely walk without feeling like I was going to faint and my lips were going numb, along with my hands and feet.  Luckily one of the girls at work was kind enough to walk me downstairs and wait with me for Chico’s Chariot.  And “S” my boss kept checking on me even though she had a motion in court within the half hour (I work for a sweetie!).

Cheek showed up and we went to St. Pauls Hospital.  They took one look at me and stuck me on oxygen and ventolin and maybe something else.  Kind of a blur.

It wasn’t helping.  My breathe got shallower and I ended up feeling like I was going to faint.  I couldn’t seem to stop breathing fast and short and hard.  Possibly a little NerdGirl panic going on too … anyways, about that time I whisked off to a room!  By this time I was faint, the lips and face were going numb and I had hyperventilated so my hands had gone stiff.  Sitting upright in the chair wasn’t going to cut it much longer anyways.

Doc came in.  I have a virus in my lungs.  No antibiotics will help that.  And combined with asthma, I am in for a bit of a ride!  He gave me something to help me sleep so I spent the better part of Valentines Day in St. Pauls Hospital vascillating between the sweet relief of sleep and the coughing fits felt like I was going to finally cough up the rocks I was sure were placed in my lungs when I wasn’t looking.  Eventually they needed the bed space in Emerg so the doc came to talk to me for a bit … he thought it was a bit ironic that I wanted my lungs to be feeling better in time to do my Sheraton Wall Centre Climb for the BC Lung Association on Sunday!  Argh.

I got home around dinnertime.  (Looking back now, I shouldn’t have left so soon.)  I had drugs in hand and a different inhaler.  I was pretty delirious when the doc talked to me so what he told me was for is a bit of a blur. 

I settled into jammies, Chico went back to work and I coughed for hours.

This is hard for me to admit:

Being a woman who really likes being alone, living alone and having alone time….  But I will say it anyways…. It sucks to be alone when you are this ill.  I felt so faint that getting to the bathroom or refilling water was a no go.  My mom and stepdad are on a cruise and I couldnt get a hold of my sister.  Megan offered to come out but it felt funny taking the help from my daughter (idiot I know!)  Chico came back around 9 pm with some food and juice.  I took some codeine the doc gave me and it calmed my lungs down long enough to sleep for awhile. 

So here I am up again.  Its very early in the morning.  It is hard to sleep as it is because my new sofabed broke already and cannot be used in the down position.  The bastards that sold it to me wont call me back so its the floor or the small couch position. …. it is around 2 a.m.  The cat is scared to come near me because my cough sounds like a farm animal lives in my chest.  Chico is sleeping on the floor (snoring).  It makes me feel secure knowing he is here for the night.

Oh yeah, earlier in the evening I sucked it up and asked Megan to come help out tomorrow.  So my lovely girl will be here to help her mama out before she goes to work in the afternoon.  I hate depending on her for something like this – its MY job to look after her – but I need some help and she is such a lovely kid that she is more than willing to go grab my prescriptions and make sure if Im feeling faint again that I make it to the bathroom!  fun fun fun!  At least this way Chico will be able to work today without interruption – I am feeling like a burden. 

Ok blogging friends I am going to see what is in the bag of goodies the hospital doc gave me – hopefully there is something that will get me back to sleep and stop coughing again for a bit.  My lungs hurt.  Bad.

At some point tomorrow I will read your blogs.  I hope you guys got at least a kiss on Valentines Day!  =)

a subject very close to my heart – and a question for my american readers

I tried to write something new about this subject.

Everything I think comes out as a rant right now, so I will wait.  Rants do not sound intelligent and are rarely listened to anyways.

I did however, write about Pickton in the past.

I thought it appropriate considering the recent ruling to repeat the post now.  Click here.

To my friendly American readers … is this story big down there?

If you get a chance to comment, please let me know if this important story gets coverage in the U.S.  Not only is it a horrific story about a very scary serial killer it has some serious social issues attached.

Thanks!

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