a little setback

Good morning blogworld.

Thursday night I had a little setback in my health.  Nothing like last year – but enough to frighten me.  I am feeling a little bit ‘off’.  I cannot find another word to describe it.  I can just tell my brain isn’t firing quite right.  When I woke up Friday morning I was still feeling this way and by the time I got to work I was really not myself and knew it – I knew I needed to take action – I worked too hard last year to fight the defection of my brain to let it slip into control again.

I am not about to backslide now when my life is so good.  Im a fighter.

Decision: 

  1. Call in the troops.  Mom, Chico, boss.
  2. Make Dr. appointment (Monday).
  3. Cancel weekend plans that suddenly felt like obligations rather than fun.

I called mom to let her know what is going on.  Tough to do but necessary.  I struggle with worrying her but know that if I decide I need her over the weekend that she will be out to visit in a heartbeat.  That, in itself, is calming.  Yes, I know, I am lucky.  I then made a doctor appointment to check on the med situation and to talk about how I am feeling.  Knowing I get to see Dr. T. on Monday is very reassuring – he is a very important member of ‘team Kelly’.  I then emailed Chico to let him know what is going on and let my wonderful boss know I wasn’t feeling quite right.  I cancelled all my plans for the weekend (other than the painting!).  I feel the need for some ‘me’ time to sort out how I feel about my brain betraying me.  Cancelling the plays was kind of a bummer, but the right thing to do under the circumstances.

Chico is coming over tonight for a visit.  We are going to walk Junior, get some food, and relax in my freshly painted bachelorette pad.  He is going through a life changing time right now and just hanging together will be good for both of us.

So as you can see I am doing everything I am supposed to do.  This means it will work itself out.  I am confident of that.

So, this morning I got up and took Junior for his walk.  We ended up side by side on a local breakfast restaurant patio with the newspaper, sourdough toast and oatmeal!  Somewhat healthier than the usual McDonalds breakfast.  Hey – Im willing to try anything. 

We then went to pick out the paint at the local little neighbourhood hardware store as my painters are coming this afternoon.  I have posted below pictures of the two colours I bought.  Im not sure this accurately reflects the shades – they are more gray than purple and darker. 

Main Paint Colour – Alley  Cat:

Secondary Paint Colour – Flannel Pajamas:

 

I will post a picture when the painters leave today. 

I hope you are all doing well.  Thanks for your ‘ear’.

on migraines

How do I know I have a migraine you ask?

See that nice sharp hard corner on your filing cabinet?

It is taking all my strength not to fling my head back and smash my head as hard as I can into it.

Did you notice my many bathroom breaks today?

No, I dont have a bladder infection, I have been throwing up.  Yes, barfing.  At work, anywhere actually that a migraine decides to kick my ass.  For five seconds as I am leaving that stall I feel better.  By the time I wash my hands and walk back to my desk or whatever else I was doing (recently it was a date) I need to turn back around and throw up again.

Remember morning sickness?  That was a picnic compared to this nausea.

Aspirin you say?  Advil?  Extra Strength whatsit?  No, noooo I cannot take another aspirinadvilextrastrenthwhatsit.  Why?  Well, the last forty I took so I could get out of bed have eaten right through the lining of my stomach and I don’t think that is helping my situation any.  What, really?  They work for your little headaches?  Aw, isn’t that nice.  I think I mentioned I get migraines.  Different ball game.  Actually different sport altogether.  Like comparing the ballet to the UFC.  Yep.  Pain meds?  Wish list:  to receive morphine intravenously.  Really.  Yes, It is that bad.

You know how you mentioned that girl that sits beside you at work – you know the one that her perfume ‘irritates’ you?  Yeah her.  Ok, you know the other girl – the one that sits way down the hall and around the corner?  My migraine gives me super powers – I can smell her perfume, the one she put on YESTERDAY and has since showered off.  Yes, yes, that is a neat superpower.  That also means I can smell the smoker two blocks away and the fact that the guy in the elevator stood beside someone else on the bus who wasn’t wearing deodorant.  And all those smells – they hurt my head more and make me take at least four extra trips to talk to the big white phone in the bathroom on a migraine day.

And lighting.  Lighting.  Fun stuff.  You know those neat little lights above your desk?  For me, they aren’t a little bright.  They actually make me anxious.  Anxious because I know if I get even the slightest bit of a headache that those babies will start to feel like someone is boring holes through my retina with a laser device.  Oh yeah, so does my computer monitor.  Fun stuff these migraines.

And no Im not being a snotty bitch, that whimsical giddy fun voice of the average woman saying hello, the one that made me cringe?  Yes, she is beautiful and animated and awesome but for me – during a migraine – that little voice sounds like a drill.  And the drill is buzzing directly into my ear.  Slowly and surely.  But the drill doesn’t see to drill right into the part of my head I need it to to relieve the pressure – so its just another form of torture.

Oh yes, and if I am lucky enough to have one of them fifty dollar ‘miracle’ pills handy that ‘cures’ my migraine … within a half hour, my pain is a beautiful dull roar … but I am sure about five thousand brain cells went with the pain and I cannot understand the simplest task you are asking me to do.  So yes, thank you, I do feel better, I just cant do simple math or hold my own fork until tomorrow.  No I am not staring at your tongue… oh wait yes, I am, I am trying to focus.  Sigh.

Ok, done.  End of migraine rant.

NerdGirl Disclaimer:

This is directed at no one.  I took a ‘writing liberty’ for ‘effect’ to write the post this way.  Apparently a migrine hangover makes me a comic too.

Anyways, blogging friends feel free to chime in.  I am sure I am not the only one enjoying these lovely long ‘episodes’!  Do you have cures?  Stories?  Rants?  Anything?  Something!  Join me in my pain!

no willpower here

Towards the end of the day yesterday one of these babies ended up in my mouth.  Haven’t got a clue where it came from or how it ended up in my mouth with the wrapper on the floor!

So much for my cleanse!  It lasted a whole three days!

I do not even feel bad about my lack of willpower.  How could I with chocolate and caramel dripping from the corners of my mouth?

Big news:

Some very interesting changes are happening on the dating front.  I am going to keep them close to my chest for awhile.  I can tell you it was an unexpected turn and I am welcoming it with an open heart and open arms.

Send good vibes our way ok?

next step part II

“Just hand over the McGriddle and nobody gets hurt.”

Nuff said!

next step

to my health and well being.

The Wild Rose cleanse.  I have heard wonderful things about what this can do for your mind, body and spirit.  I am excited to take this next step in what has been a year of fabulous changes for me.

The ‘date’ (aka ‘Kat’) is doing a similar one at the same time.  =)  And yes, I’ve seen her a bit lately.  And no, I wont give you anymore details….

Ok, I am off to eat everything and anything I can get my hands on today because as of midnight tonight its all going to change!

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